Democracy

The gloves are off here... 

The Americans and the French have diametrically opposite views on the relationship between quality and quantity. To a Frenchman, anything that is worth savouring must, of necessity, be available only in limited quantities. To an American, anything that's any good must be made available to everyone. Ford, Coke and McDonalds are archetypal American brands just as Chanel, Louis Vuitton and Chateau Petrus are archetypal French ones.

The French would never try to bring democracy to anyone else, as obviously these foreigners would be incapable of appreciating it.

Me, I prefer the American approach. Indeed I am much taken with an Andy Warhol quotation along the lines of "what I like about Coke is that the President of the United States can't get a better Coke than the bum on the street." Really great brands should be universal. (When you think about it, the huge explosion in the value of luxury goods brands is evidence of a social malaise).
Though France is sporadically wonderful, it suffers from a terrible lack of scalability. A good cuisine remains trapped within its region. A great cafe or restaurant remains a great cafe or restaurant - with a single outlet. Part of the reason for this is that the French see the principal purpose of a job as supplying status, not money. So your typical Frog restaurateur would rather operate a single restaurant in Paris patronised by a few cabinet ministers than operate a vast chain of eateries serving the general public. This explains why the great majority of French Schoolchildren aspire to be civil servants when they grow up. And why it is no co-incidence that succès d’estime is a French phrase.

I once asked a Frenchman why, given that they had "the best food in the world" they had not attempted to compete with McDonalds. "Why not," I wondered "a nationwide chain of restaurants selling cider and galettes?". "But that is a Breton cuisine," he replied.

It is fashionable to despise popularist brands in Britain, too. And so a particular brand of British middle class twat regards Brie as healthy and burgers as dodgy. And I am so glad they do.

You see, one of the great things about McDonalds is this: that the people who "don't go to McDonalds" don't go there. If you live in the South East of England this is wonderful - it means you can go there with your kids and be guaranteed that you won't be exposed to any of the hand-wringing tossers who say things like "Jolyon's allergic to chips, actually".

I like brands like easyJet, IKEA, etc which are actually anti-snobbish and act as snob-repellents. When not American, these brands are often Scandinavian, Australian or Dutch. They are gloriously non pretentious, and attract a similar clientele.

And of course this works the other way round. There are plenty of brands which, while appealing in themselves, attract a peculiarly revolting class of user. BMW above all (I was once upgraded at Avis to a BMW 5-series and refused it) or the Apple laptop. My aversion to British Airways is similar - anything the airline does is counterbalanced by the need to share a plane with a lot of lower-middle class ugly people with an unusual penchant for doilies.

The Art of Sharing and Social Networking

This from Tom Peters (my take on it is after): 

"Oddly enough, I've run into two situations in the last 24 hours where someone wanted to restrict the activities of a competitor relative to seminars I was giving or products I was developing. It's a position that I adamantly oppose on both moral and commercial grounds.

At the top of my business priority list, I want my overall market to grow by leaps and bounds. My market share will go down (It was about 100% after In Search of Excellence, when I was more or less the only public "management guru"), but my revenue will soar—the "bigger pie" axiom.

In short, I want my competitors to thrive. And I welcome their presence at my events. I go so far (see our "Cool Friends" interviews, for example) as to enhance their careers!

Does all this suggest an altruistic streak? Perhaps, but I actually think mostly not. I think that when one badmouths one's competitors or tries to limit their activities, the "word gets around." And one develops a reputation as prickly and egocentric—and, well, as a selfish jerk.

More important, my only effective long term defense (think Apple) is to do better and different work—and earn and retain the custom of those who would engage me.

In the original glory days of IBM, one of the legendary Thomas Watson's Golden Rules was "Thou shalt never badmouth a competitor." In fact, to violate this rule was a no-debate firing offense. As IBM struggled in the eighties, the rule slipped into disuse, and the company's reputation suffered as a result. Back to my basic premise, IBM's real problem was the loss of product distinction.

I come down hard on Mr Watson's side. It is my goal—selfishly, actually—to be a highly regarded member of my professional community. Speaking crudely, I think that is an incredibly strong and sustainable competitive advantage. And, yes, I bloody well do want to win more than my fair share of business.

Your opinion?"

 I'll tell you what I think Tom, my opinion is French people I talk to can't seem to get their heads around this idea either. Even the idea of blogging and sharing information and ideas about work practices apparently is a way to total ruin from people stealing from me. This is bollocks and is the type of thinking which is driving the economy here at a snail's pace.

I have participated in social networking groups and I'm not convinced the French are ready to operate using a spirit which is beneficial for everyone. People are passive and clan-like. This means they will stay in small safe groups viewing people from outside their group as intruders. They will share limited information for fear of someone ripping them off and talk crap with people they already know. It's instant aristocracy and it's obvious from a mile away. Newcomers are seduced by the prospect of meeting new contacts but quickly recognize the school yard atmosphere. 

Get talking everyone. For God's sake pull your fingers out and give the idea of real social networking a chance. There are great structures in place for people to be doing business rapid-fire instead of chipping away at icebergs. If France wants to go from zero growth to playing with the big boys she must stop preening herself in front of the mirror and stop prattling on about les trente glorieuses and start interacting, working intelligently, thinking differently and stopping the perpetual bleeding of the wound of suspicion.  

What???

Net of chicken with districts of potatoes...

 

Any ideas what this could possibly mean? Chapeau Melon gives you the answer in a new blog about the problems in translation from French to English.  

Ah, France.

I couldn't resist this from Guy Kawasaki's blog. I'm sorry.

 

1. France is the most civilized country in the world and doesn’t care who knows it. John Gunther

2. France is a nation devoted to the false hypothesis on which it then builds marvelously logical structures. Gore Vidal

3. France has neither winter nor summer nor morals—apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. Mark Twain

4. How can anyone govern a nation that has 240 different kinds of cheese? Charles de Gaulle

5. Dogs smoke in france. Ozzy Osbourne

6. We always have been, we are, and I hope that we always shall be, detested in France. Duke of Wellington

7. What I gained by being in France was learning to be better satisfied with my own country. Samuel Johnson

8. Everything is on such a clear financial basis in France. It is the simplest country to live in. No one makes things complicated by becoming your friend for any obscure reason. If you want people to like you, you have only to spend a little money. Ernest Hemingway

9. France is the only country where the money falls apart, and you can’t tear the toilet paper. Billy Wilder

10. They aren’t much at fighting wars anymore. Despite their reputation for fashion, their women have spindly legs. Their music is sappy. But they do know how to whip up a plate of grub. Mike Royko

11. The French probably invented the very notion of discretion. It’s not that they feel that what you don’t know won’t hurt you; they feel that what you don’t know won’t hurt them. To the French lying is simply talking. Fran Lebowitz

12. Every Frenchman wants to enjoy one or more privileges; that’s the way he shows his passion for equality. Charles de Gaulle

13. If the French were really intelligent, they’d speak English. Wilfrid Sheed

14. Germans with good food. Fran Lebowitz

 

Chaucer, Molière and Cheesecake

I didn't know it was a French guy who introduced the idea of Globish. In the New York Times article this month they describe a type of cut and paste way to constuct coherent English (Jean Paul Nerrière had a carrer at IBM which fleshes out the thought process of cutting and pasting a little). Now, Globish or simplified global English is what everyone I know is basically doing anyway. Business people pick up sound bytes of info here and there, a phrase which clicks and sound good -"I must remember that for next time" and they insert it into their presentations or meetings and it works. The only difference is it's in English.

No one in France particularly likes the idea of having to speak English. No one in France likes the idea of feeling obliged to do anything for that matter, but after a sluggish start the French are swinging into their English lessons with a gusto. There are the usual purists who are wimpering about not studying Chaucer as an entry ticket into the wonderful academic world of the English language on the English side and just as many French trying to eradicate English from the French language and shove Molière onto their students.

The thing is no one cares. If you are industrious enough and keep your ears and eyes open, the name of the game is to integrate all of the influences around you. If it helps you get your message across - it's good, if it doesn't then forget about it. Keep this critieria in mind and if you want to call it Globish or Cheesecake the result is the same.

 

 

 

 

 

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English and the Art of Wasting Time

English lessons to business students in France don't work. Why? Simple. They don't correspond to the students and they never really have. If you are sitting with your teacher formulating perfect English sentences and working on your grammar or the teacher is impressing you with a panoply of gadgets and computer programs or DVDs, you are wasting your time and money. Sorry. I can hear the howls of enthousiastic young (and not so young) teachers now -"Yes but teaching has evolved!" No. It hasn't. At least not in the same way as international business has evolved.

What is your objective? If your objective is to become a linguist and study the English language with all of it's wacky irregularities and vocab, verbs and expressions then continue sitting with your teacher and continue writing cheques. If your objective is to communicate something using the English language as the means then read on. The only reason companies are interested in their employees speaking English well is because they can communicate more efficiently with other countries and make more money in less time. If this is not true in your company, change companies now before it is too late.

You know the information you have to deliver in English, and it's probable you know the technical English. You won't acquire an extraordinary amount of new vocabulary in the time of the contract you have paid for, so get to what is important. How do you use the English you possess in a way which is more efficient and has more impact? This is the real target. Falling into an acedemic routine will reinforce the rigidity of the majority of French people's English speech. The French education system is structured to learn to read and write before teaching the students to speak. The result is after ten years I have seen students incapable of stringing together sentences let alone delivering a professional presentation with any real impact. Free yourselves people. Become flexible and creative and your presentations will take off.
No one cares if Brian is in the kitchen anymore. Stay tuned.

 

Fear and the Art of Stressing Naturally

Fear of public speaking is normal and everyone except the most extroverted, experience this fear when asked to speak in front of a group of people. When this experience is professional and in a language which is not yours, the pressure is doubled and the result for you and your company is a loss of time through inefficiency and potential loss of results and money.

The education system still doesn’t encourage actively an oral approach to learning English. The reflexes are slowed and the interaction or the ability to be spontaneous is suppressed - the result is a communication which remains rigid (to be nice) or presentations which are total wastes of time (to be honest).

55% of our communication is through visual imagery (I will talk about using visuals soon) and only 7% is through written text. Laborious wordy presentations are the least effective way to communicate information yet this is the most common form of business communication used. The other 38%, if you were wondering is you – your voice, gestures, movements and ability to capture and retain your audience’s attention. If you are giving a reading then handing out the text of your Powerpoint at the end and calling this your presentation, you have work to do.

You can learn to be excellent even if you are not a natural and even if you stress to near death. Stay tuned.