Emotional Cat Food

“When you buy cat food you are not buying sustenance for your cat, you are buying well-being for yourself”

 

Seth Godin talks about buying into a story through an anecdote about high price cat food. The cat doesn’t care what the hell it’s going to eat as long as it eventually gets something without actually having to wake up its rusty hunting instincts and physically finding the food itself. But the owner is buying into the idea that the puss’ discerning palette deserves only Fancy Feast. The owner has bought into a story. The owner is buying his own sense of well-being because human beings make emotional decisions and not rational ones. Not convinced? Check out the presentation Godin gave at Google earlier this year comparing Google to Yahoo or Yahoo Auction (who?) to eBay, and it will knock your socks off.

The vast majority of presentations are rational, logical explications of solid information. Everyone should be happy, right? The person has done their job, the PowerPoint looks cool and the info is packed with relevant stuff. Sure, except it doesn’t work. If I don’t have an emotional reaction to what you are saying, if I don’t feel involved, well, I just don’t care. I will go back to my office and think about something else.

If you are presenting - you are selling. You are selling the image of your company and the way for your audience to buy into what you have to sell is to tell them a story. We don’t buy base products, we buy into stories, myths, legends – the word of mouth circulates and we all want to buy. We all feel the need to buy. It’s human and powerful and it can work to give you almost an unfair advantage when you are presenting.

 

 

 

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iPods and Snubbers

If you are snubbing technology you're snubbing useful tools and hurting your presentations in the process. Face it people, we are in the technology age. There is little place for snubbers. The way we register the world is affected by the new input around us and part of this input is technological. If you are still presenting with a paper board and a forty minute monolgue then don't be too surprised when your audience starts throwing things at you. So get a load of this new gadget.

So you're presenting and preparing using PowerPoint or Keynote, here is an easy way to turn your iPod into a nifty presentation accessory. You need to get your presentation to the iPod using this then practice, practice, practice. I have spoken about the virtues of verbalization before or how to practice by actually talking to yourself and this can help. Many people are reluctant to rehearse this way because, well they feel stupid, but the more times you get your presentation out into the open and you hear it and live with it you can make it better. Actors do it, politicians do it (okay, bad example) because you can pull your presentation into a cycle of succes. Hear it how others hear it. Work on your timing and transitions and how to optimize your visuals.

Good luck my little Star Trekkers and remember your objectives. Surrounding yourself with cool gadgets may make you feel like Captain Kirk but if you can't transmit the message efficiently they don't really mean anything.

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Chaucer, Molière and Cheesecake

I didn't know it was a French guy who introduced the idea of Globish. In the New York Times article this month they describe a type of cut and paste way to constuct coherent English (Jean Paul Nerrière had a carrer at IBM which fleshes out the thought process of cutting and pasting a little). Now, Globish or simplified global English is what everyone I know is basically doing anyway. Business people pick up sound bytes of info here and there, a phrase which clicks and sound good -"I must remember that for next time" and they insert it into their presentations or meetings and it works. The only difference is it's in English.

No one in France particularly likes the idea of having to speak English. No one in France likes the idea of feeling obliged to do anything for that matter, but after a sluggish start the French are swinging into their English lessons with a gusto. There are the usual purists who are wimpering about not studying Chaucer as an entry ticket into the wonderful academic world of the English language on the English side and just as many French trying to eradicate English from the French language and shove Molière onto their students.

The thing is no one cares. If you are industrious enough and keep your ears and eyes open, the name of the game is to integrate all of the influences around you. If it helps you get your message across - it's good, if it doesn't then forget about it. Keep this critieria in mind and if you want to call it Globish or Cheesecake the result is the same.

 

 

 

 

 

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Like a virgin

So I received my super avant-première deal in Capital giving me two indispensible tools for mastering business English. Okay, one is a dictionary. A dictionary is always useful if you are in a meeting and are looking for the way to say - "How can we repurpose our results-driven strategy for scalability and a maximization of best-practice, frictionless, future-proof alignment moving forward?" Sure. Give me a minute folks I'll be right with you, I'm just looking up a word here. Of course this comes in the hi-tech CD-Rom version, which is the same as the book but you need to wait to put it into your computer and look up the word. The people in the meeting can perhaps put money on which technique is slower while they wait.

Then you have the 50 interactive lessons which proclaims itself as the méthode d'apprentisage de référence. I'm not sure who has proclaimed this but the contents list gives you an idea. More than 2500 written excercises, grammar and another dictionary (in case the other two you have already don't work). All this with total immersion to improve your oral comprehension. Now I guess - total immersion - must mean something different to me because I see a number of problems becoming totally immersed reading off my computer screen, but, hey maybe I'm missing something. Perhaps I need the Madonna microphone hooked over my ear to fully appreciate the sensations of being immersed in the language (the micro is free at least). There are also apparently hundreds of interactive dialogues. Apart from the impossibility of having a dialogue which isn't interactive to some extent, I'd like to know who I am interacting with. Maybe in the box there are dwarves who will pop out and help the poor Madonnas speak English. Who knows?

It's recognized by the French National Education System. Now there's a recommendation for you. These are the same people who taught you for about seven years with all their written, grammar and oral excercises and at the end you're still hanging out with Brian in the kitchen.

All this for ninty Euros. At least I could find my 'Like a Virgin' CD again I suppose. 

 

 

 

 

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Ten things you didn't know about Jean-François Lintanff

I have spent many hours talking about journeymen and evolutionists this year. The idea of evolution has become so integral to business that the existance of a coherent CV is now nearly a curiosity and companies feel a little silly asking for five years of experience for sectors which have only existed for four years. Universities are starting to ask the question - what if the piece of paper we are selling isn't really that important after all? - and smart businesses are looking through the qualifications and trying to scratch out the pearls from the swine. The start up boom and eCommerce lead by young enthousiatic people continues to put the dinosaurs' noses out of joint but if Pierre Kosciusko-Morizet, just thirty-something French thunderlizard can persuade the PME minister Renaud Dutreil to do some gardening for him, well, anything is possible.

The first time I met Jean-François Lintanff, I received a machine gunning of his professional evolution. From the military to Business Development Manager at Geodis in ninety seconds flat, delivered in an English more correct than most of my classmates from uni and with the logic of a contemporary journeyman. The evolution to the position he has seemed like a logical sequence of events, but one which you probably aren't going to find in any textbook of how to rise into senior management. Undoubtably one of the most active members on Viaduc with a network about the size of Belgium, but always approachable and honed in the art of the follow-up (you always get a response). 

So with his usual high-octane turn around time (hey, we need to get those packages out, now!) Jean-François agreed to my 'Ten things you didn't know about...' questions and  fired them back to my email address so fast my computer is still smoking.

Ten things you didn't know about Jean-François Lintanff

1. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, it would be… Oysters (and white wine, with fresh bread, and salted butter)

2. If I weren't in business, I would be an…Officer in the French Light Armoured Reconnaissance Cavalry.

3. Something I would like to do, but haven't had the chance…Vendee Globe : a sailing race around the world, for singlehanders, without any stopover,

4. The last concert I went to…St Patrick celtic concert at “ the stade de France ” in Paris.

5. My favorite toy as a kid… my Robin Hood costume and my bow.

6. When I'm not working, you'll find me… at home with my family

7. My favorite TV show is… SATC (ethnology)

8. My oddest paranoia or superstition is….no idea. “should I have one ?”

9. My last movie I saw was… “Le Crabe-tambour” by Pierre Schoendorfer

10. If I could have dinner with a famous person, dead or alive, he or she would be… Saint Thomas d’Aquin (Catholic Church theologian)

Thanks JF!

 

 

 

 

 

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Ten things you didn't know about Bruno Blanchard

Tireless French business networking guru Bruno Blanchard with his ever keen eye and sharpened sense of a good idea responded with his usual lightening speed to my email. Founder of the first Club Business in the Maine-et-Loire which has now propogated to cover France with Club Businesses in departments everywhere, bringing people together to schmooze and press flesh, he accepted to respond to my "Ten things you didn't know about...".

The art of schmoozing in France is a delicate activity but one which is developing now as people are discovering that 1 - Everyone needs contacts and 2 - No one is going to steal your idea so, it's better to create bridges between people instead of burning them and 3 - If it's a good idea there are five people doing it already, if it's a great idea there are probably fifteen so stop being si coincé, it's time to circulate.

Talking about business is boring. Part of the game is to talk about things which you are interested in and things which may be of interest to someone else. If someone is talking to me about financial placements and percentage points endlessly I won't know anything really about the guy and probably won't give him any of my money. But if we are talking about the kids in school and why Australia shouldn't have been beaten by Italy in the World Cup, I have built a link which can be built on in the future and when I'm looking for someone to spend my money I'll think, "hey, I know a guy".

The rise of Viaduc as a network for professionals enables virtual conversation and first contact with people via your computer, but at some point you need to get out and press flesh, or really meet people. Which is where Bruno dove in and now provides evenings for business people to concretize their contacts exchange business cards and schmooze in comfort.

 

Ten things you didn’t know about Bruno Blanchard

1. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, it would be… Cheese (and wine)

2. If I weren't in business, I would be a…Bass player in a rock band

3. Something I would like to do, but haven't had the chance… Time travel

4. The last concert I went to…the Inmates in London

5. My favorite toy as a kid…Teddy bear

6. When I'm not working, you'll find me…home with the family

7. My favorite TV show is…Only Fools and Horses on BBC

8. My oddest paranoia or superstition is….don't have any

9. My last movie I saw was…Camping , french comedy (not so funny actually)

10. If I could have dinner with a famous person, dead or alive, he or she would be…Frédéric Dard (french writer)

 

Thanks Bruno!

 

 

 

 

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Earthlings, Aliens and Bozo the Clown.

 Don't let the bozos grind you down. The bozos will tell a company that what it's doing can't be done, shouldn't be done, and isn't necessary. Some bozos are clearly losers--they're the ones who are easy to ignore. The dangerous ones are rich, famous, and powerful--because they are so successful, innovators may think they are right. They're not right; they're just successful on the previous curve so they cannot comprehend, much less embrace, the next curve.

Guy Kawasaki

 Being able to adapt is the topic of the year in France and the streets have howled with the discontent of those who are afraid they may have to face the scary monster of adapting in the future. I hear several times per week what people can't do. Now, without getting all personal growth about it and talking about the ills of using the can't word, the problem here is usually not a question of what can or can not be done but who has tried before. If no one has tried, then no one will and the negative spiral will begin discouraging all newcomers from trying in the future. If you hear the phrase (and the chances are you will) "That's just not the way we do things here", run. Now.

I often float into companies like a UFO. Everyone looks at me as if I'm an alien and listens politely to what I am saying and at some point the bravest of the earthlings will explain to me why what I am describing can't be done. Why? "Well, it's just not the way we do things here." Now I'm being paid to impart some advice on the employees and not to become one so the run option doesn't apply, and if I did run, well, I couldn't pick up the check. But, what this really means I may need to adapt to a new mode of thinking and frankly, I'm too tired/well paid/badly paid/stupid/afraid...to try. These are the third catagory which Guy hasn't mentioned who are neither losers nor innovators, they are, well, stuck in the middle with a certain security and have slid into bozosity quietly with the masses. Sometimes they think they are mobile and ready to adapt to all situations, but when push comes to shove they will stay in the herd. This promotes a mentality which is difficult to rise above. Not impossible but a little like dragging a tyre out of molasses.

After a number of sessions the earthlings begin to open up and ask questions. I have even seen some imitate the alien and mutate to better things.

 

 

 

 

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I'd give it a seven

A frequent question I ask when trying to improve some area of my life is: If I were to rate this area’s current performance on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being the worst imaginable and 10 being the best imaginable, where am I right now?Very often I find that areas get stuck somewhere in the 6-8 range, usually at a 7. A 7 seems very close to a 9 or 10, but often a 7 is a local maximum — you can’t get any higher by continuing to follow the same path that got you to that 7 in the first place. You’re already at a peak. The only way to reach a true 9 or 10 is to climb back down (sometimes back to a 2 or 3) and take a new path.

How many times do people get stuck at a 7 and remain there for years? Is your job a 7? Your health? Your relationship? Your family life? Your self-esteem? Is it likely to improve much if you keep heading down the same path you’ve been on for the past year?

A 7 is pretty good. At this level you feel generally content. It’s OK, fine, acceptable, satisfactory.

A 7 is above average. Compared to most people, you’d say your 7 isn’t bad at all. You feel like you’re ahead of the pack.

People often get to a 7 and then coast for a long time. At a 2 or 3, you know something is very wrong, and you’re probably driven to action. But a 7 is like a warm bath. It’s cozy and non-threatening. You feel fairly safe at a 7.

Steve Pavalina

In the context of presentations what does this mean? This probably means you can go along with the rest of your associates preparing and communicating your presentations in a way which is fine. They are in the herd, they don’t stand out but they get the job done. They are not memorable, but hey, no one is doing any better either right? Is this what you want? If your objective is to maintain the status quo then I will tell you now at some point you will fail. It isn’t a maybe. It is definite.

What is stopping you from being excellent? What you will discover is not only is there no 7, but there is no real 10. The idea of perfection is abstract and changes constantly. However you can try for excellence and you will see the difference. Rehearse using a different tact. You know the one you always thought would work but it seems too kooky. Kooky is good. Kooky will be remembered, and remember this is your real objective – retention rate of your audience divided by the time spent giving your presentation.

Get out of the 7 trap people and let your presentations take off

English and the Art of Wasting Time

English lessons to business students in France don't work. Why? Simple. They don't correspond to the students and they never really have. If you are sitting with your teacher formulating perfect English sentences and working on your grammar or the teacher is impressing you with a panoply of gadgets and computer programs or DVDs, you are wasting your time and money. Sorry. I can hear the howls of enthousiastic young (and not so young) teachers now -"Yes but teaching has evolved!" No. It hasn't. At least not in the same way as international business has evolved.

What is your objective? If your objective is to become a linguist and study the English language with all of it's wacky irregularities and vocab, verbs and expressions then continue sitting with your teacher and continue writing cheques. If your objective is to communicate something using the English language as the means then read on. The only reason companies are interested in their employees speaking English well is because they can communicate more efficiently with other countries and make more money in less time. If this is not true in your company, change companies now before it is too late.

You know the information you have to deliver in English, and it's probable you know the technical English. You won't acquire an extraordinary amount of new vocabulary in the time of the contract you have paid for, so get to what is important. How do you use the English you possess in a way which is more efficient and has more impact? This is the real target. Falling into an acedemic routine will reinforce the rigidity of the majority of French people's English speech. The French education system is structured to learn to read and write before teaching the students to speak. The result is after ten years I have seen students incapable of stringing together sentences let alone delivering a professional presentation with any real impact. Free yourselves people. Become flexible and creative and your presentations will take off.
No one cares if Brian is in the kitchen anymore. Stay tuned.

 

Clean your shoes

"Never dress beneath the level of the audience. That is, if they're wearing suits, then you should wear a suit. To underdress is to communicate the following message: “I'm smarter/richer/more powerful than you. I can insult you and not take you serious, and there's nothing you can do about it.” This is hardly the way to get an audience to like you."

 This is from Guy Kawasaki's blog in the post on how to get a standing ovation. In France this always provides some sniggers when I tell people how to dress. This has become fashionable in certain industries to have the 'I dress down because I think this means I'm relaxed' look. What this means is usually, I have some degree of power and I will do what I want.

The question is - will this create bridges or barriers between you and your audience? Your objective is to make them feel as if they are actively participating and if the message sent is I am different in any of the ways above, your message is handicapped from the start. Your first two minutes are the most important and if you are playing the cool guy look then be prepared for a cold audience. I tell people to one up the audience. If you think they are not wearing ties, wear one. And remember to clean your shoes. Presentations happen standing up, so be prepared to be looked up and down from head to toe and wear clothes you are comfortable standing up in. If you work at a desk all day maybe what you are wearing is inappropriate and you feel ill at ease standing (this is more the case for women in my experience).

90 percent of our opinions are formed in the first 90 seconds. This is one of those great uncheckable statistics but think about it anyway when you are getting dressed for your presentation.